Veena Reads and Writes LUV STUFF for Georgia Weekly Post.
a note from the editors: The following article is composed of interviews with many men and women,
selected letters to the editors, over several weeks of research. Some writers have provided their life history or experiences for publication by Georgia weekly Post. They spoke to our reporters and answered questions and agreed to share their experiences, opinions. Their names were withheld to protect their identities and assure their privacy. Their statements were edited. re-written to provide a tasteful narratives excluding any expressions that could be considered offensive or improper.
Spring and Fall are the two parentheses that mark the rhythm of the year in Time.
It is the parentheses of the change of the seasons. It is the time when Nature rises, to blossom forth, and when Nature lays back, to settle in.
Autumn is a maturity of vibrant colors, of depth, of the sweetness of the rich unfolding of learning what Spring and Summer gave, of the anticipation of preparation of the next phase.
We can see the deeper, parallel meaning by taking a year as one human Lifetime.
Summer is The Blossom. And Winter? Winter is the Time to be alone.
There is the difference between being alone and being lonely, being lonely is a burden.
Being alone is a Joy. At a certain level you enjoy your own company.
Then you are alone, but not lonely. Space is in a flux. Your space around you is what you fill.
But, before that delicious time of filling your own space, and celebrating your own company, there are many seasons of searching.
Of filling your space with others. Sometimes desperately. As it was with Carlson and Faye.
Carlson has lived in Dunwoody since the 70s. Faye just moved to Dunwoody a couple of years ago. They met at a neighborhood party. She was insecure. She has just moved in. Hadn't yet found her footings. He had lived there for years. He was, and IS, the establishment. It was appealing to him to see someone like her needing him. She was beautiful.
▲"Most men my age are married with children," said Madonna in an interview with The New York Daily News. "They're not dateable.
He was sexually experienced. She found him intelligent and deeply read. She found in him what she strove to be, now, that she was 'here'. It was a palpable need. She wanted to absorb him. He, in turn, found in her the energy and freshness that the other women in his world had lost. He was so sick of hearing about their physical complaints. Hearing about their 'deadness' as he called it. And their staleness about them. They actually smelled of staleness, as he said. This, here, with Faye, was the freshness of life. It was refreshing just to be around it. Around her. He loved her smell. Her perfume stayed with him. She loved his. His presence filled the room.
And he did not care what others said. In fact, it was a compliment, in a way. He could hear it in their voices. The undertone that said: “ Good show, man. You got a great gal.”
▲ As Ronnie Wood's young wife gives an affectionate interview, and with Francois Hollande rumoured to be marrying his younger mistress, Neil Lyndon (67) tries to fathom the appeal of the older man.
Literature has often been termed the passion of Spring and Fall as May December, or December May. But that phrase deserves to be discarded, or restricted at best. May December love is mostly monetary. Rarely is it for passion. It carries closure with it. December is the end of a Time, or of a period in Time. It denotes a completion. It occurs with a long, purple and dark navy blue rest, at the end of which we know not what Spring will bring as Nature rises, to blossom forth. It is Beautiful, in its own stead. But it is alone.
This Dance of the Energy of Life, of the interplay of seasons is the most powerful rhythm of Nature. Of Life itself. It is impossible to contain. You can see it unfold in life.
Roger lived in Johns Creek. "I want a 21year old," he said. " I am so strong I can live to be 100. More than 100, actually. I drink this special water everyday. I've got more energy now than I ever did when I was 25. I used to be sickly then. Now I grow younger every day. I want a new family. I want to leave more children."
"You don't have the money, " his friend told him. "You are on unemployment." He did not answer. He had been learning how to work the system, to go from one unemployment check to another. Regardless of this fact, he was seeking a new family with a younger woman. Perhaps, like many other men, he was hard wired to find an optimal breeding age. He is 57. His age did not matter. Hers did.
▲ Men live longer if they marry younger women and women are subconsciously looking for older, greying, bald men. With these sorts of “discoveries” making headlines, it would appear there’s no need to fear aging or male pattern baldness any longer.
The natural path of parenthood, the path of childbearing at optimal ages, to let Life and parenthood flow as Nature unfolds is the reason for many of the rules of human society. And much of the reasons for the horror and dismay at Fall and Spring or even of December and May tango with each other is based on these Natural laws.
And yet there is the attraction of completion, of that pull for the completion of the parentheses.
The magnetic pull for Spring to love Fall and Fall to love Spring is a magnetic pull of the parentheses of Life unfolding in the seasons to seek sustenance within themselves. We are human beings, born of the very Nature that sustained us.
▲ The risk of premature death is reduced by 11 per cent if they mARRY a woman seven to nine years younger!
There are rules and law in Nature. And in Nature attraction, specially magnetic attraction, is respected. And more, it is celebrated.
Alicia lived in Buckhead. They met at the gym. She wanted his maturity. His charisma. The confidence he radiated. He had a career. She had none. He had a home. She had none. She loved his quiet maturity. And she really truly wanted to piss off all those who knew her. She knew she was being watched by them.
There is an envy that people had when they looked at them. Seen from their deadened lives their passion was palpable. Of course they could not say that openly. Instead they called their love sickening or perverted. They turned their face, looking away. But then their eyes fell on Peter.
Sometimes the envy is the feeling of envy on seeing sheer courage. Courage can do something others cannot. Simply because Envy would not dare.
The eyes of envy watched Peter.
▲Then Abraham fell on his face and laughed, and said in his heart, “Will a child be born to a man one hundred years old? And will Sarah, who is ninety years old, bear a child?” (Genesis 17:17)(NASB)
Peter lived in Brookhaven. Cecile lived in Brookhaven too. Peter thought all women his age are like the bitch he had been married to, the one he had gleefully divorced in a fit of rage. Maybe witch is a better word. What happens when bitch and witch become one? How do you pronounce that? Nightmare? Yeah! She was the nightmare. He did not care what people said anymore. In fact, it had become fun to startle them and thumb his nose at them. Cecile had been through a nasty divorce. It had gone on for years. She felt she had lived in the Path of No Escape. At this point in her life what people said made no difference. She did not care what they said about her or about anyone else. Peter and Cecile shared this in common. This disgust of society. It brought them together.
Then there was Bartholemew. Barry for short. Bartholemew Nunn. He is in his second 20-something. He calls them the pretty hong chicks. Most of them knew his daughter, who is 24. His first 20-something left after he refused to pay any more of her bills. And he found out she had a boyfriend. Young and muscular and totally useless about making any money. It was convenient for him to have a Sugar Daddy once removed. His needs were met. But then he found a wealthy Cougar and refused to answer the phone calls of the 20-something who was bringing home the bacon.
Barry loved to show off his young pretty little chick. "This is my new find," he confidentially told the crowd surrounding them. How confidential can you get in this crowd, she said in her heart as she looked up at the ceiling. The curious eyes watched her every move. What did she have that other 20-something's did not have. As if it was an award to be his 'pretty little chick'. She wished he would stop grabbing her butt. It's going to cost him, she said to herself. Oh god. I'm going to die, she said to herself. These people are so dull. The Axis of Boring. They are talking about some Axis of Evil. She did not have a clue what they were saying. Or who they were talking about. Just knew these were the Axis of Boring.
These couples and their stories multiply. And with every story the shock value in society merely repeats itself. The jaded ones barely acknowledge these huge age gaps between lovers. They have seen so many. The ones not so jaded are getting there.
▲Kimberlee Turner enjoyed the cougar life after a brief teen marriage to her high school sweetheart ended in divorce. She started off dating guys a few years her junior, then graduated to age spreads of a decade or more.
A Better Inn in Suwanee was the venue where they would meet. Mr. Sanders and little Elzbeth. Mr. George Sanders. He had stopped in one night, very drunk. Unwilling to drive home, so it's safer to sleep it off he told her. She showed him his room. But then she went in with him when he asked her to step in for a bit. The next night he came, again. He was sober. He brought a flower. He showed her he still has it in him. He could prove it to her. He swore he would not try and change her. She was very attracted to him for that. She was sick of men trying to change her. So sick of them she stopped dating for a while. It was the younger men trying to change her. He saw her as a challenge. "All I want is a room somewhere." These were the words for the song in the musical that kept coming to her head. The My Fair Lady phenomenon kicked in. He protecting her, finding in her something more interesting to do than going to bars and getting drunk. The challenge of giving her life new meaning. Through her, alleviating the mundane boredom of his wealthy life. She, finding in him, an escape from the drudgery of the routine of being a front office clerk. Charmed by his position and wealth, she wanted him to make her into something new. The My Fair Lady phenomenon again. The process had begun. He was taking control. Yet, with her, he, himself, was changing to something new. Therein lay the irresistible charm.
Earl Collins Foster III is from Augusta. Bridgett is from Augusta too. All the men want Bridgett. She has a classy, obvious sexiness that was deeper than what they had ever known. 'Every single man in town wants to sleep with you' was Earl's greeting to her. She did not reply. Just looked at him with an unreadable face. "People ask: who is that woman" he said to her. "I'm used to that," she said. "People have said that to me since I was in college," she spoke quietly. Earl Collins Foster III found her irresistible. Yes. It was his Ego. To take a woman wanted by other men. He lavished her with gifts.
All her needs were taken care off. She allowed him to extend himself. She felt protected. Perhaps, it was protection, in a way.
Harriett is from Savannah. She met Brandon, whom she found very hugely attractive. Brandon is from Savannah too. He works at the exclusive bar in the Savannah Country Club. It's where they met. She called it Savannah Cougarville. He had laughter at that. He said its the Mrs. Robinson Phenomenon. In fact, he had created a special drink and called it Mrs. Robinson. It was spicy and sweet and very, very strong. They would drink it together. There was no interest in marriage from either of them. They were together for the fun and companionship. And for the song and dance.
There is something attractive about people who toss all care to the wind. Living the heady, fearless life. It gives most people the courage they never had.
In news media you read of “The new trend” : older women dating younger men. Now rated at 47% by the most recent consensus. The Younger Woman with an Older Man phenomenon is commonplace by now. The Younger Man phenomenon is just getting started. Because of women maturing in their roles in society, women feel more sexy and complete and poised. They love, and enjoy, the strength, humor, openness and passion of their younger partners. The men like the joy of being with complete, poised women without all the baggage that younger women carry.
With this new trend are the shifting dictates of society. Society is more flexible at the seams today. It's perimeters have become elastic.
Here is the story of Ruth and Henry in Sandy Springs. Ruth was older than Henry by 20 years. Ruth is typical of the new woman. Women are looking for men who can keep up with them. Ruth said she found him open-minded, less cynical. More trendy. More open and with newer ideas. Henry was adventurous. Both in the bedroom as well as outside. Henry was impressed by Ruth. He saw her as independent, smart, confident. He never saw her clinging to him. She was never needy. He had hated that about the girls his age. He called it ‘their drama’. And Ruth could absorb his sexual energy. What Ruth loved about him was the natural honest way with which he courted her. It was straightforward and honest. She was slowly becoming more relaxed and open, matching him in his relaxed open manner.
Across town in Atlanta. Brian Fischer and Lisa Remington. Lisa found Brian more chivalrous than any man she had met. For Brian, Lisa was a change.
What is it all these people are looking for? The cliché of ‘mid-life’ crisis does not cut it. There has to be something more than a cliché such as that. There is a feeling of completion. A completion not of life. But of themselves.
Amazingly, now there is advice given to women in mainstream media on HOW to get a younger man. This is the new trend. This new society. Be open to possibility, they say. Expect the unexpected. Your sex will match his, old women are sexier.
Interestingly, this is the side effect, if you will, of the Equal Rights Amendment women’s movement: the younger man sees his older lover as an equal rather than as an accessory. This is diametrically the opposite of the more commonplace older man and younger woman, who is usually presented as the accessory. However, what is to say that older women do not present their younger lovers as accessories?
Perhaps Madonna has more experience with younger men than any other star. Earlier this month, she offered candid
insight on her dating history since her divorce from Guy Ritchie in 2008. "Most men my age are married with children," she said in an interview with The New York Daily News. "They're not dateable. I'm a very adventurous person and I also have a crazy life. I'm a single mother. I have four children. I mean, you have to be pretty open-minded and adventurous to want to step into my world. People who are older, and more set in their ways, are probably not as adventurous as someone younger." She also dismissed the notion that women shouldn't express their sexuality after a certain age.Those are outdated notions, now.
Would it be fair to say the women, then, are becoming more equal to men in stepping into the age difference Spring Fall lovers worlds?
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